When people experience a loss in their family or circle of friends, we often feel like we should say something, but we don't know what. Though the situation can be akward, we figure something is better than nothing and we wind up putting our foot in our mouth - making the situation even more strenuous.

Proverbs 25:20 (AMP) - He who sings songs to a heavy heart is like him who lays off a garment in cold weather and like vinegar upon soda.

Even though we mean well, our actions may not be well received. We must consider the condition (and emotional state) of others instead of what we want to do.

PLEASE DON'T ASK IF THE DECEASED WAS A CHRISTIAN. I BELIEVE THIS IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND DISRESPECTFUL

...believe me, I experienced this myself with my grandfather.) When my grandfather died, people were asking me if my grandfather was saved. At that time, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. My focus was to honor my grandfather and be available to my grandmother and family...

You want your words to be well received and planted in the good soil of their hearts.

Proverbs 25:11 (AMP) - A word fitly spoken and in due season is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Sometimes there are no words to comfort them and they must be allowed to grieve for their loss. They will remember those that dishonored their loved one, those that stood by their side in support, and those who did nothing - which will you be?! And you don't have to ask them...ask God. Ask Him to show you how you can help them right where they are. Maybe it's bringing them a box of Kleenex, buying them dinner, giving them a ride, or buying flowers. How about watering their grass (or cutting it); picking up their kids from school; helping with chores around the house...

Don't worry about what you should say, the Holy Spirit will provide the words that minister to them at the appointed time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (ESV) - For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.