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Galatians 6:1-2 (KJV) - Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

Sadly, many people encounter difficult situations that disrupt their mental, physical, and emotional stability. They develop (consciously or not) many defense mechanisms or characteristics that become solidified into the fabric of their character. These defense mechanisms build barriers that will prevent ANY return to a painful experience of the past.

Defense mechanisms can be conscious or unconscious, but any 'trigger point' will bring the walls of protection and self-preservation. Protection comes in many shapes and sizes and is based upon an individual. Some people lash out; others withdraw; some deflect their pain to someone or something; and then some run away (literally). Many of these traits become so intertwined with their character that they're not aware of the true 'reason' for their actions. Then there are others that may even deny the possibility of acting in self-defense (could be another defense mechanism). They may not understand themselves or their consequences of their painful situation well enough to ever think along these 'lines' and that's OK. But when they do become aware of them, they often come with feelings of guilt, shame, anger, and disbelief which create additional stress and depression.

Their only goal is to move beyond the sting of their past and erase its existence from memory - which is easier said than done.

For those on the outside looking in, they may want to step in and fix their situation right away, but they must be cautious in how they provide 'assistance.' Though a solution may come easy to the supporter, the 'simple' fix may not be so easy for the one in pain. Please understand that they may have spent much of their lives under the guise of pain, suffering, stress, shame, and other defensive mechanisms. They have may built a solid foundation and fortress that allows them to feel secure from the outside 'world.'

The walls may not come down overnight (unless the Lord intervenes).

Addressing painful circumstances can be the most difficult and emotional time in a person's life - and peeling the layers of self-preservation will not be easy. Supporters must exercise love, empathy, mercy, patience, and grace. They must seek the Lord's guidance on how to proceed and what to say. As King Solomon once addressed, there will be a time for many things (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). Providing the wrong 'support' at the wrong time can be detrimental to their progress.

Freedom and restoration is a possible reality for those trapped by a painful past. Taking steps forward may be painful, but with the help of the Lord, restoration is more than possible. He can provide them with the resources, grace, and people to help. But even with all the help in and under heaven to support their journey toward freedom, each step of change must be taken by the individual. They must be willing to let go and reach out (and up) for help. Little by little, the layers of self-preservation can be removed, exposing a beautiful person free of strife, condemnation, guilt, and pain.