When I was looking for a daily quote this evening the Lord impressed upon me to use a Watchman Nee quote. Watchman Nee's life has been a true inspiration to me and I relish the opportunity to read any of his writings.

I found the quote I was going to use for 12 May, but I saw this one directly under it:

"When I began to serve the Lord, I was somewhat anxious about the question of my livelihood. Since I was to walk in the Lord's way, I would only rely upon Him to support me. In the years 1921 and 1922, very few preachers in China lived in sole reliance on the Lord. Yet when I looked to the Lord, He said to me, 'If you cannot live by faith, you cannot work for Me.' I knew that I needed living work and living faith to serve a living God. God has supplied all my needs and has not failed me once."

A few years ago, I was thinking about separating from the military. 'Scared' didn't nearly describe my feelings. I was definitely like a ship tossed to and fro (James 1:5-8) - stay in, get out; what will I do; where will I go; how will I support my family...

I know my wife was tired of me...I was tired of me. I had little trust in God to supply for my needs. It's easy to trust God when you know a check is coming in the mail...

At the last minute, I told my wife that I would separate from the military. I planned to spend a year in Korea and hopefully go to North Carolina and complete the remaining seven months of my enlistment before separating. I knew I was going to Korea, but I was waiting for a 'follow-on' assignment (hopefully to North Carolina) to come through.

At the time, I was looking to purchase a home in North Carolina, but I felt uneasy about the purchase and backed out at the very last moment. A few days later, I was in the Orderly Room (administrative section) with this notice of a follow-on assignment to Hickam AFB, Hawaii. For the military, Hawaii is considered an overseas assignment and I specifically requested no overseas assignments. I took it as a sign from the Lord, but I was still unsure. The assignment should not have come in this manner, so I took it as the Lord's work.

Today, I've been in the military almost 11.5 years and the call of separation was lingering. The Lord told me about two weeks ago that I was to stay where I was because I was in a position to help others (we were thinking about applying to move directly to North Carolina).The military has been an absolute blessing to my life in building a foundation from which to grow, but my heart sings for the ministry - namely Spiritual Combatants.

I love Spiritual Combatants!!! I'm in awe of the work God has done with it and I sometimes take a 'stroll' through the web site just to see its beauty and grace. I am so honored to be a part of Spiritual Combatants!

God has told me that Spiritual Combatants was my purpose, but recently He has said a little more:

'To give my all to Spiritual Combatants.'

'If I take care of His business, He would take care of my business.'

...this was definitely financial. I was looking to start a number of businesses to finance Spiritual Combatants (to bless people with free materials), but I knew it wasn't the way to go - the inner witness of the Holy Spirit was definitely at work! I wasn't trusting God. I was trying to find my own (tanglible) way...again.

Like Watchman Nee, I must live by faith. I must trust God to be the supplier of all my needs...as well as my family's needs. Though I have often failed myself, my family, and God many times, HE HAS NEVER FAILED ME!!!! He has been nothing less than 100% faithful to me and my family - in spite of my shortcomings!

How can I not trust God?! How can I allow fear to keep me from my purpose in Christ?!

Maybe three or four years ago, the Lord told me that what He had for me was greater than anything that the military could give me. The military can only give me a pension, medical benefits, and life insurance, while God has already given me so much more.

Regardless of what my 'tomorrow' holds, I must live without fear and full of faith and patient confidence. It is His will that must be done, not mine.

Habakkuk 2:4b (KJV) - ...but the just shall live by his faith.

All I need to do is be faithful to 'today.' I have worried about what tomorrow will bring when God already knows the needs of my family. One day at a time...when I focus on tomorrow, whose events are uncertain, I allow fear and Satan to manipulate my find into an enemy of my soul - raging unsettling thoughts and actions within me.

I don't have to be worried about tomorrow for God will direct me in the ways I should go in due time. I can be faithful today. I can trust God today. I can be faithful today.