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Matthew 5:9 (KJV) – Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called children of God.
Have you ever tried to restore a relationship between two people (or groups) and things got worse? Even though you had the best intentions and wanted a peaceful resolution, the outcome was FAR from perfect. You want people to get along and enjoy a peaceful co-existence (and even get along), but the two ‘sides’ don’t seem to want peace. What do you do?!
1. You can’t make them drink. Most of us have heard the saying, ‘you can take a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.’ With relationships, you can bring people together, but you can’t make them get along. Even if you have the best of intentions, bringing these sides together may not bring the peace or outcome you desire.
…don’t try it unless it is God-directed…
2. Understand that each person/group may never come to ‘terms’ with one another. For whatever reason, neither side will move toward a compromise or any other form of reconciliation. Each side holds to their ‘terms,’ unwilling to negotiate. Years and decades can go by and both sides are comfortable with not speaking to one another.
Even if the situation pains you, you must understand that you can’t make them drink…
3. Make peace with each person. When the sides are unwilling to reconcile, you can do your part in building a healthy relationship with each side. Each person has a different (and specific) path toward peace to follow. Therefore, it will be important for you to think of the person’s needs above your own (Philippians 2:4) and build from there.
Now, there may be situations where you are ‘clumped’ with the one of the sides and other side isn’t speaking with you. If this is the case, remember, you can’t make them drink. You can try to reach out to them through letters, phone calls, etc. (no overburdening or stalking), but it must be within GodÂ’s timing and method.
4. Learn to live with the reality of the current circumstances. The situation may not seem pleasant and go against everything you desire to see, but you must find peace in the way things are. This is not to say you don’t want peace or don’t care about the people involved, but if they don’t want peace, you involvement to bring them together may make things worse.
Each person has their own reasons for division. Each dynamic is different and will require your patience, understanding, and love.
5. Don’t become emotionally charged. When you allow your emotions to get the best of you, you may make decisions that bring additional pain, strife, and division.
Proverbs 4:26 – Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
Colossians 3:15 – And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be thankful.
6. Pray (this should be first and continuous throughout your situations). In the context of relationships, there are many dynamics to being a peacemaker. Some situations seem so daunting, painful, and complex that you don’t know where to begin (or end). Pray to God about the best course of action to take. Sometimes we want to jump into action to do something (for the sake of doing something), but maybe the best thing to do is to pray (and be still). We may not have all the answers, but we know Someone that does. Let’s go to Him and ask for His help.
Don’t allow the strain of relationships deter you from being a peacemaker. You cannot control the decisions of others, but you can control your own actions. Don’t let go of your dream of reconciliation and peace!
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Have you ever felt your ministry was not growing?!
Yes, you are thankful for the lives you have touched and you want to touch even more. You want to continually go deeper; expand wider; and grow higher.
Living for God and serving Him in ministry isn’t about growth. Serving God is about faith and obedience. Even in the slowest periods of life and ministry…when nothing seems to be working, reaching people, or growing, our purpose is not to look with our eyes, but with faith. God may not reveal His entire plan for a particular season of our life and ministry. Therefore, He does not need our help to progress things along if they aren’t moving to our own satisfaction. He needs us to trust Him – especially when the entire plan hasn’t been revealed. It’s faith that pleases Him (Hebrews 11:6).
In God’s time, the seeds we plant today in obedience may be watered by another and someone else may witness God’s harvest of that seed. Regardless of what today or tomorrow brings…
- be a servant that is faithful over a few things – no matter how small
- be a servant that can be trusted to fully administer God’s counsel – no matter how things seem
Photo courtesy of freeimages.com/Marco Michelini
1 Peter 5:1-3 – The elders which are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being examples to the flock.
Elders have a very important responsibility within the body of Christ. They are often the direct conduit for administering God’s instructions; growing His people toward discipleship; and building a strong community of believers. It is a position that cannot be taken lightly.
Proverbs 13:24 – He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
When it comes to discipline or punishment, many of us believe if ‘you spare the rod, you spoil the child’ (Proverbs 13:24). And many take every opportunity to use the rod without understanding the purpose of discipline. For many people disciplining their children, they react based on emotions. Yes, they want to correct negative behavior, but may do so out of anger (sometimes uncontrolled). However, there’s a few reasons why this approach can be counterproductive:
1. Discipline is a corrective tool. In disciplining our children, our purpose must be to (1) isolate the behavior; (2) address it appropriately; and (3) place our children on the path toward good and godly success. Discipline is not a means for us to take out our anger on our children. If we know our children well, using a rod may not the most effective means to correct their behavior in every situation. Sometimes a short discussion can accomplish the same result.
Swapping one sin for another does not solve your problem!
If a temptation is getting the better of you or you have committed any sin, the solution for getting rid of that cannot be to commit a different sin. Even if the emotions and actions of the previous sin may fade away (with your ‘new’ actions), the underlining principle of SIN still remains. If you find yourself in this ‘situation,’ your solution should be to end any act of sin and to seek repentance and restoration through Jesus Christ and His word.
Don’t believe the lie of swapping one sin for another! You will only remain a slave…to sin!
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Life can deal some tough situations. These situations can bring feelings of depression, anger, and pain. You don’t feel good about anything and you want to lash out (on someone or something). You know something needs to be done to correct your situation (before something terrible happens), but your motivation isn’t there. You want nothing more than to slip away into the dark abyss that has diminished your vitality. So how do you stop the downward spiral? How do you get your second wind?
Let’s read about a ‘stressful’ situation for King David and his men:
Have you ever known someone that would intentionally tempt you to indulge in some form of sin?
The sin doesn’t have to be sexual, but it could cover eating fattening food; going to a movie you know you shouldn’t see; visiting people you were told to stay away from, etc. Unfortunately, many of us have crossed paths with these types of people and they can be difficult to handle. Some of these people you can stay away from, but some are more difficult because of specific circumstances (i.e. co-worker).
There may be many reasons why someone would tempt you to sin. Some people want that ‘buddy’ to be with them when indulging in something they shouldn’t. They may not want to bear the guilt of their actions alone and want company in their misery. Some may want to see you fail and will work to sabotage everything you’ve worked hard for…
Whatever the reason for their actions, the final decision for your actions remain with you. You don’t have to eat the food; see the movie; or visit people you shouldn’t. You don’t have to give in…you can say NO.
Every situation is unique, so continue to seek God and wise counsel when proceeding.
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For many pastors, finding committed church members can be a challenge at times. When the ‘faithful few’ are found, they are praising God for their dedication and commitment to fulfill the church’s mission in Christ. As the load may lighten for the pastor, it is important that they ensure their faithful members (and all members for that manner) are healthy in all aspects of their lives.
For many members serving and working in ministry, they can experience unhealthy amounts of stress, frustration, and burnout. The ‘weights’ of ministry upon their shoulders can carry over into other areas of their lives such as work and home life. Therefore as a pastor, I believe it is important to consider their members within a ‘whole’ person concept.
For some strange reason, I thought my body (or flesh) was my friend. Since we share the same ‘space,’ I figured we would seek the best physical, mental, and spiritual health possible…and I WAS WRONG! Because of this reasoning, I didn’t always ‘fight’ with my flesh. I figured the fight (spiritually speaking) was solely with the devil and didn’t include the inner me.
Galatians 5:17 – For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
The flesh is not an ally! It seeks to satisfy its lust! Whether the lust refers to sexual acts, eating, speaking, or thinking, the flesh wants its way…AT ALL COSTS! The flesh isn’t concerned about your spiritual well-being; it only wants to be satisfied.
Romans 2:1 – Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.
Have you ever judged someone…forgetting you may have done the same thing (or still doing it)? In the verse above and the previous chapter, Paul was writing about people that knew God, but did not glorify Him as God or was thankful toward Him (Romans 1:21). As they ‘progressed,’ their hearts were darkened and they engaged deeper into ungodliness. God would eventually give them over to uncleanness through the lust of their own hearts (1:24), vile affections (1:26), and a reprobate mind (1:28).
What were some of their actions?
1. Knowing God, but did not glorify Him as God or was thankful (1:21)
2. Became vain in their imaginations (1:21)
3. Their foolish hearts were darkened (1:21)
4. Changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image (1:23)
5. Worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator (1:25)
6. Men and women leaving natural affections and lusting after one another (1:27)
7. Did not retain God in their knowledge (1:28)
8. Filled with unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful (1:29-31)
…remember, this is people that knew God…
In Romans 2:1, Paul states that if we engage in the actions listed above, we have no excuse to judge others. So what should we do?!
1. Repent and pray.
2. Remain silent, verbally and mentally.
3. Show empathy for others because if we think back, we’ll remember how hard it was for us during the same period of our lives.
4. Support and restore them in a spirit of meekness (Galatians 6:1).
It seems easy to point the finger at other people and look at the ‘mess’ in their lives, but by doing so, we set ourselves to be judged in the same manner (Matthew 7:1-5). Remember when you may have been in the same situation…
Photo courtesy of freeimages.com/Billy Alexander
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